I am

1. I am sad.
Uneasy in my own skin,
which feels heavy,
dragged inward by unshed tears
that I am too afraid to release, lest
they drown my world.

2. I am quiet.
A calm facade
like the duck bobbing serenely,
while beneath the surface
feet paddle madly to stay afloat
on turbulent waters.

3. I am angry.
Righteous fury arising from knowing
the unnecessary injustices of this world.
Wicked problems accumulated over centuries
of privileging some over the ‘other’.

4. I am lost.
No longer enthralled by the shining certainties of progress.
Having turned my eyes toward the deep dark wilds
beyond faith, I find only questions.
Which path to take?
How to live well in a world falling apart?

5. I am a dreamer.
Longing for a joyful, vibrant, life affirming world.
Instead of days in this beige construction
of fake niceties and false safety,
while the Earth slowly dies from human actions.

6. I am afraid.
Fierce certainties bubble beneath the surface,
molten larva waiting to erupt,
shielded from view by old friend fear
with its many faces.
Fear of ridicule, fear of rejection…
fears engrained so deep, they are like a second skin.

7. I am brave.
In a quiet way
letting my life speak my truths.
Beginning to strip away layers, to release pain,
transform anger into action.
Learning to let my light shine.

8. I am creative.
Crafting thoughts into poetry.
Transforming intuition and experiences
into lines to take you to new places,
offer you a different view of the world.

9. I am kind.
We are not in this world alone.
A small act of acknowledgement,
a listening ear, a warm hug or passing smile
matters in this scary uncertain world.
If it is all we do in a day,
that is a day well lived.

10. I am of this Earth
This wondrous, abundant Earth
which shelters, feeds and clothes us all.
It does not judge, this planet that I love.

11. I am changeable.
I am all these things and so much more.

I am not the labels that you throw at me.
Do not try to cage me with your notions of this world.
It is much more mysterious than you can conceive.
You have not lived in my skin,
known the entirety of my experiences.
So how can you know me?

I am not the things you expect me to be.
Do not try to weigh me down with your expectations.
Leave room for me to be human,
to hurt, to fail, to flounder.

I just am.
Imperfect, alive and so ever changing.

Try to meet me as I am
and I will do the same for you.

2 Comments

  1. Thank you, Dinali! So much of this poem expresses my current state of mind, which tends so readily to despair. But you’ve given a ladder and a way to climb out of this. I’m going to print it, and keep it near. I’m very grateful. Love Anne

  2. Oh Dinali This poem is so beautiful. It starts so sadly I could cry for you and then we end with hope and courage and creativity adn kindness and connection!!! So so beautiful. Thank you. What strength! Lovely, thank you

    Monica O’Wheel

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